39 Fairytales
by TammyGinger
Summary: If you want to write an allegory, don't use fairytales. Just...don't.


**Okay, so when I said Calm Blue would be my only fic? And I would write something sci-fi, maybe? Backtrack. I needed to write this – I've just been feeling immensely down lately, I wanted something cheery. I really did. To be safe, this is K+. I try to keep everything kid-friendly. Honestly, would a twelve year old be writing a M rated scene??? **

_Wide Path Pamphlet: How, Why, When, Who, What._

_FAQ: Answers written by the author, Cris Marie Blank._

_What is Wide Path?_

What are you, a cave man?! Wide Path is the imitation of Broadway, except Broadway is real. Wide Path is not, and neither are you. Stop laughing, it's true! And of course _I'm_ real. If I wasn't, I'd be… uhm… I'd just be not real.

_How did Wide Path Get Its Name?_

Seriously? Wide and broad, path and wide.

_How Did You Get The Idea For Wide Path?_

One day I invited Glum, Joy, Hyper, Satisfaction, Stupid, Pride, Common Sense and Rash over to my home for what was planned to be a nice little party. When they arrived, the all became bored when all Cris would talk about was the _39 _Clues.

Glum insisted to sit around and write teary poems, but Pride didn't like that and thought it was stupid. Stupid, of course, became offended and suggested they write parodies.

Glum was quick to point out none of us are any good at being funny, Common Sense took only five seconds to ponder before agreeing.

However, Hyper, Joy and Rash backed up Stupid. They were outnumbered, and Wide Path was conceived.

No one knows what happened to Satisfaction, and I haven't seen Common Sense since.

_What is the Plot? Why?_

They couldn't steer me away from the _39 Clues. _With techniques you ABSOLUTELY DON'T need to know about, they agreed to read the books and write a fan fiction humor story with me.

Joy and Hyper came up with the plot. If you do not enjoy your Wide Path experience, Joy and Hyper are the bananas wearing matching lacy blue nightgowns covered in the teddy bears. And we have Glum selling tomatoes in the back of the theatre.

_Anybody else I can chuck some fruit at if I am displeased with the show?_

You may fling anything at anybody, as long as they do not look eleven or twelve, have short thick and wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and are 5'2.

_Can I Get A Refund?_

No.

_Why Are There Bodyguards near the stage?_

Actress and respected Lucian Natalie Kabra threw a fit when we refused our request, and we wish not to have yet another employee sent to the Intensive Care unit.

_Their Guns Scare Me._

Good.

_Wait, this is a Musical?_

Buahahah!

-Tammy Ginger

_**The Casting of the 39 Fairytales**_

_**Act One- Cinderella Todd**_

**Natalie Kabra, Ugly Step Sister #1. Comment**: I wish to you peasants know that I did not willingly agree to be one of the step sisters. (They have absolutely no fashion sense nor wits!)But by gum, it was quite fun knocking out those spineless bananas.

**Mary Todd Holt, Cinderella. Comment: **Thank you for your overwhelming support! I will act in this musical well! I will poor my soul and my love into this artistic and forever memorable classic! Despite what happens, I will always be your star!

**Isabel Kabra, Ugly Step Sister #2. Comment: **I AM MOST DEFINETLY NOT UGLY! NEVER FEAR, THAT RASH IS GOING TO PAY FOR TRICKING ME INTO THIS POSITION. Not that he did. Or ever will again.

**Amy Cahill, Town Crier. Comment: **Well. This is nice.

**Madison Holt, Ugly Step Mother. Comment: **This should be very entertaining, folks, trust me. And Uncle Cal, you'd better remember to slip on your dentures before you start laughing. You always sit in the front row, and it creeps me out when you laugh with that toothless mouth.

**Ian Kabra, Kind Sick Father. Comment: **My weakling of a character has no guts whatsoever. If you wish, my father will set such up so that you will not get sued for pushing TammyGinger off the main balcony. In fact, I beg of you to do so. I never beg… except for now.

**Eisenhower Holt, Prince Charming. Comment: **None. Is busy primping.

**Irina Spasky, Jealous Prince. Comment: **This story is way too happy.Isabel Kabra informed me this was for a top secret mission. It was not, and now I am stuck with this horrible position.

**Hamilton Holt, Fairy Godmother. Comment: **Please save me now!!! But on the bright side of things, I may have to play a dumb grandmother, but she does have a pretty pink dress. Note the sarcasm.

_Ha ha! Oh, I'm noting in alright! –Dan _


End file.
